Honestly, I wish I could be more regular with uploading posts, creating art and fulfilling art requests. Life has been hard lately

In January my stepsister’s sister passed away. I was very saddened by it and in part, it was why I struggled with the last of my semester in school. I don’t want to go into too much detail here but even though I did not know her very well I still felt impacted by her loss and the grief that my stepsister was going through.

On April 20th my boyfriend’s sister passed away. I feel so numb. Similarly, I did not know her too well either. However, I always had hopes that I would someday get over my shyness and become close to her. She was only a year older than me. I still regret that I did not make more of an effort to get to know her when I had the opportunity to. And, of course, I am devastated to see my boyfriend going through his pain. I keep waking up every day thinking that this was all a dream and she’s going to message him on Facebook asking him to come over.

I feel guilty that everything else in my life is going so well. I got into the schools I wanted to, I am enjoying work, I have good relationships with my friends and family. When I let myself be alone or do not keep myself busy I can’t help but let that darkness, guilt and sadness creep in.

I don’t know what the point of this post is. I just wanted to write it out. If you know anyone suffering from addictions please warn them about fentanyl, but also just love them and appreciate them while they are here.